he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
