she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
