Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize