Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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