He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
