By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just invented taco cereal.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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