K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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