dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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