So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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