Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
cat food counts as protein by the way
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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