I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
