i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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