Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
