i jhust puked up my retainher.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
