Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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