Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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