Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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