theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize