pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
