great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
