I got chris browned last night
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize