im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
