the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
