I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
how does that bad decision feel?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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