the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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