it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
