Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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