fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
