It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
