can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize