So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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