HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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