Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
