Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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