I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
