I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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