Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
handjob tips. give me some.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
