your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
