I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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