i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
That reminds me...we need to get swords
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
