omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
