I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
