OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
