Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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