my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
