He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
