i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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