Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize