how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize