if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You pole danced in your parka.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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