i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
