I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
