Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
