If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
