It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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