its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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