I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
