We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
