I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize