There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
