Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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