She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
