have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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