I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
birth control should be required to get into college
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
