what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
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