I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
A bitchslap is in order.
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