We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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