I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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