Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
