i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
