Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
it was like eating out sand paper
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So much rum. So many feels.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
