Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
