Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
