really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
