party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
