sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
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