Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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