I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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