so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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